I am not at all happy writing an article on “honour
killing”. People around me say that I live in a secular country where all its
citizens are treated equally regardless of religion/caste; but when I hear
about the cases of honour killings then I suspect whether I truly live in a
secular country?
Wikipedia
defined honor killing as “An honor
killing, or honour killing is the homicide of a member of a family or social group
by other members, due to the belief of the perpetrators that the victim has
brought dishonor upon the family or community. Honor killings are directed
mostly against women and girls, but have been extended to men.”
Oxford Dictionary defined honour killing as “in certain cultures, the killing of a relative, especially a
girl or woman, who is perceived to have brought dishonor on the family”.
According to my understanding, I can define honour
killing as “killing a man or a woman by their family members for marrying against
their parent’s wishes, having premarital relationships, marrying within the
same gotra or outside one’s caste.”
Not only our country is infected with this kind of psychology,
in fact it can be seen in almost all the countries. If we will turn the pages
of our history books, then we can come to know that it originated from the ancient
civilization days of 1200 B.C from the belief that a woman’s chastity is the
property of her family. It existed in ancient Rome, where the family members
were punished if they did not take action against the females who used to elope
with some other caste males. Here I should
mention that not only Rome but ancient Babylonian, Egypt, Chinese, North
American Native American tribes and Persian cultures also followed such customs.
In Babylonian society, to prove once innocence women were forced to throw them in
a river. Egyptians used to mutilate the adulterated women’s body to punishing
them. In Chinese culture males have the right to cut off the hair of adulterous
women and then were killed by an elephant trained to for such purpose. Native
American tribes used to cut limbs and mutilate adulterous women’s body. In
Persia women were left to die in a well.
For our Indian society also this is not new; it’s
only recently that these incidences are coming to light, thanks to the growing
media power. Sohni Mahiwal, Heer Raanjha, Laila Majnu all these and many more
unnoticed couples are the victims of this stupid tradition.
Who is right and
who is wrong, either the parents or the couple? Who should judge this? According
to a research in 73% of the cases couples elope from their home to marry someone
whom they loved because their parents did not agree for their marriage. Now who
is supposed to be the culprit in such cases? I think parents are matures enough
to sense such incidences before they occur; so instead of punishing their kids
for going against their wishes they can call their son or daughter and discuss with
them on the matter and can chalk out some solution.
Facts about honour killings:-
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The UN conservatively estimates that 5,000 women and men are killed each year by members of their own family.
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Socially, no marriage alliance is permitted between a man and a woman who belong to the same caste but different gotras.
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States such as Haryana, Punjab and western Uttar Pradesh, rural areas in Delhi and some areas in South India continue to witness honour killings.
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The Punjab and Haryana High Courts are flooded with applications from young couples, seeking protection from caste panchayats.
The caste system is the biggest culprit for honour killings.
According to the families who strongly belief in such custom, they think that
if someone from their families disobey and decide to marry someone of their
wish from other gotra or outside their caste, it would bring disrespect for them
from the society. To save their so called respect from others they go to extreme
level and kill their own son/daughter. Now you tell me, if for Prestige/ Honour we
are supposed to kill someone,
then we Osama Bin laden and other terrorists would be the most prestigious and honorable
man, and Nobel Peace laureates like Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela as the
least ones.
Apart from the caste system; honour killings are also taking
place because people’s mentalities are not changing; they can’t think that marriages
can take place in the same gotra (the gotra is a system which associates a person with his most ancient or root ancestor in an unbroken male lineage) or outside one’s caste. For three days, I have searched the internet extensively, but did not got a single solid evidence in our Hindu scriptures which says anything like "same gotra people can't marry each other". Then from where the hell our society brought this concept? Even on June 2010 the Delhi High Court made Naresh Kadyan withdraw a petition which asked the Union Government to make changes in the Hindu Marriage Act to ban marriages in the same gotra. The petitioner in his argument said that marriage within the same gotra is against Hindu tradition. The Vacation Bench of the Court (which comprises Justice S.N. Dhingra & Justice A.K. Pathak asked him to show proof in any Hindu scripture which bans marriage in the same gotra, Mr. Kadyan failed to do so resulting in withdrawal of his petition.
Along with the caste system our society is also the culprit. When people don’t have work they try to peep in others life and talk about their person matters in public. Many a time it has been noticed that the parents don’t oppose to such inter-caste marriages, but it is the society who pressurizes the entire family to go against it. Please do not let others decide about your kid’s future. And anyhow someone had said that “society suffers from Amnesia. They will soon forget what they said or did”.
Along with the caste system our society is also the culprit. When people don’t have work they try to peep in others life and talk about their person matters in public. Many a time it has been noticed that the parents don’t oppose to such inter-caste marriages, but it is the society who pressurizes the entire family to go against it. Please do not let others decide about your kid’s future. And anyhow someone had said that “society suffers from Amnesia. They will soon forget what they said or did”.
Everyone thinks
that honour killings are only happening in rural areas, but this is not true
our so called educated societies from urban areas are also contributing to this
crime. Yes the number is more from the urban area. In India mostly such
incidences are reported from the states of Uttarakhand, Punjab, Rajasthan, Haryana
and Uttar Pradesh.
Some cases of
honour killing:-
- Manoj (23), who ran an electronics repair shop at Kaithal, eloped with Babli (19) of Karoran village on May 2007, because their parents did not gave permission for their marriage. They belonged to different gotra so the village elders accused the couple of violating the code of conduct related to marriage. The young couple was murdered in a month. According to the police, the culprits dragged the couple out of a Karnal-bound bus, were brutally murdered and their bodies thrown into an irrigation canal. After three years all the five accused members were sentenced death penalty. All five were relatives of the girl, Babli. They include her brother Suresh, cousins Gurdev and Satish, uncles Baru Ram and Rajender.
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Manoj & Babli just after their marriage
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Wazirpur, once a rural village overtaken by sprawling suburbs of northern Delhi, was the residence of Monica (24) and Shobha (20). Monica married a local boy, Kuldeep, four years ago. In 400 years, they were the first couple to have married out of caste in their village. On 21st June 2010 Shobha, Monica and Kuldeep were found murdered. They have been shot twice in the head by two of her own cousins. When the police nabbed the accused he confessed, and said they could not bear the taunts of the villagers after the girls had supposedly “shamed” them, one by marrying out of caste and the other by aspiring to be a model.
Kuldeep and Monica -
Reena (16), a Jat, residents of Saimaina village in Fathehabad dared to love Sham Mohammad (18). If they would have known their fate then they would have never came close to each other. On 3rd July 2010, they were found murdered in the same school where their souls meet each other. Most of the bones in Sham’s body were broken and one of his eye almost came out where as Reena was forced to take poison by her own family member, to show it as a suicide. Within six months the case was closed, and in police’s closing report said that they committed suicide.
Sham Mohammad’s aggrieved family members at Samain villageshow the proof of letters sent to the government seeking protection. -
Supreme Court a year ago said that, those who commit honour killing deserve death penalty. I think the Saharanpur (UP) DIG Satish Kumar Mathur had not seen that report. Why I am saying this is because, last month on our national new channels everyone saw him telling the father of the allegedly abducted 14 year old Ishrat Jahan, who is suspected to have eloped or been abducted, that had it been his sister, “If your daughter has eloped then you should be ashamed and end your life. I would have killed my sister if she had eloped or else I would have committed suicide”. The news flashed on the TV for 3-4 days but till now no action has been taken on him.
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Payal, 18 year old girl from Karnal Haryana would have never thought in her wildest dream, that the hands in which she tied the rakhi for 17 years would be responsible for her death. Payal’s brother Paras stabbed her to death on 20th May 2012 in Ashok Nagar. Her brother suspected her of relationship with some guy because she used to talk with some unknown person over the phone. Without investigating anything he one day when he and his sister were alone in the home, he went to the kitchen took the knife and stabbed her. Paras then misled her family and police by telling that she committed suicide, but later after interrogation he accepted his crime. He said that for family’s honour he killed his sister. But I ask him a question, what honour he brought for himself & his family after murdering his own sister.
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On 2nd May 2012, in a bid to save family honour, a man strangled his daughter at Gedellanka village of Mummidivaram mandal in East Godavari on Monday night as she insisted on marrying her lover who belongs to another community.
- On 3rd May 2012, a minor Dalit girl from Bannirsarige in
Chamarajanagar district of Karnataka was forced to leave the village by her
family and local people for falling in
love with a boy from a different caste and, in their view, bringing ‘ignominy’
to the community.
So in situations when your son/daughter comes to
talk to you about someone whom they love; what should be done? Talk, talk and talk;
because talking will lead you to sharing each other’s ideas, it will help you to
share your emotions and feelings; which ultimately leads to understanding each other’s
situations and come to some solution. In today’s fast paced life rarely do parents
and children interact with each other on any topic, which leads to assumption,
miscommunication and ego leading to satanic effects on any relationship. Also we have to change our mentality, I mean
to say that we should accept our children’s wishes for marriage after all they
are the one who have to stay with their life partner and if we force them to
marry according to our wishes then it can lead to horrible married life which
can end in divorce or suicide.
To stop this menace from spreading to other parts of our
country, the Government will have to bring a "stand alone" law to
punish people involved in such killings. In May 2010 our Union Law Minister
Veerappa Moily said that the government is against honour killing. He said that
“the bill on honour killing is now with the Home ministry. Five clauses will be
added to Section 300. Indian Evidence Act will be amended to shift burden of
proof to the accused and we will amend the Special Marriage Act to take away
the 30 days notice period to get married”. Exactly one year is over, but we
have not heard anything from the union law minister on the bill. Hope the bill,
which Mr. Moily said is with Home Ministry will get passed in the parliament soon.
(In this article I have not mentioned about “Khap Panchayat”,
because I want to write a separate article on them. These are a special group
of people in Jat dominating regions of North Indian states who are primary
responsible for such killings.)
Life is beautiful… “Change Minds, Save Lives”
References:-
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